“Who am I?” (Ragamuffin Reflections #02)

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  1. I have looked forward to the reflections. It is a beautiful piece of work. The message, this year I have finally realized the messy people aren’t the other ones, it’s me. Maybe it’s my age and where I am in my life. I could only turn to God, apart from the kids and dogs and cat, they are the ones that love me. I am that divorced depressed blob that people see. I think the kids see me as someone that loves them. The kids see someone who is trying. They know I made mistakes. At first I couldn’t fathom God loving me. No one could love me I’m too messed up. I love words that are absolutes because God can claim them. ‘”Always”, everlasting, “abundant” “never” I will never give up on you. In my mid 50’s I guess it’s time to own up to who I am accept and do better. It’s ok to fail, learn from it or go to God for consolation. Being quiet with purpose is one way to be available to hear God. Easier said than done. Someone once told me to get quiet. I thought it was a ploy for me to leave her alone, while it may have been, the benefit was hearing God and being there broken to let His love console me. When I think of being truly loved and by the grace of God I felt it. It was as if God was there in that person. How at peace I was. How at home I felt. But it was here on Earth, all I know is that love will be infinitely more perfect when I am Home.

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